The Mid-Lent Struggle of Loathing Resolutions

Today is Thursday of the hundredth week of Lent. No, not really, because of course there are not that many weeks in Lent. But somehow, even when the sun finally shines again and the weather is warming up, there becomes a point where Lenten resolutions can feel like kind of a drag. We wonder how much longer we can handle living a life that's missing some of our favorite things.

In the beginning of Lent, there's some initial enthusiasm. We want to be better people. We want to grow closer to God. We want to use our Lenten penance to prepare for Easter. We are inspired by the people around us who share these goals. It may be hard, but we can persevere in those early days because of the beauty we find in the potential of the Lenten season.

Sometimes, we even start to see that habits are formed. Suddenly not eating between meals becomes the default; we don't even think about it that much. That extra prayer time becomes simply a part of our life. We feel like we are growing in virtue, exercising self-control, and living a Lent that will help us rejoice at Easter.

Then, there are other Lenten resolutions that just continue to be challenging...or possibly even annoying.

Going grayscale on my phone is meant to address the sort of mindless impulsivity that can lead me to do unproductive things when I could be using my time better. I'm sure we all have our unique downfalls when it comes to temperance issues and phone use. Mine tend in the direction of online shopping (including that in which I never actually purchase anything) and social media.

For these two issues, going grayscale does seem a direct affront. Online shopping is hard to do without color, and social media just isn't as fun. But grayscale doesn't actually prevent my doing these things, and I can sympathize with people who simply give up online shopping or social media. This approach is an even more direct affront, and possibly it brings better results. Going grayscale does not prevent me from using my phone, it just makes it really frustrating and boring.

This is the time of Lent where I start to struggle with grayscale, wanting to use the triple-click feature to switch into color for one second to check what a photo looks like before I post it. After all, that's more time-advantageous than pulling out my computer (which is still on color), and I don't want to be legalistic about being grayscale. And then, let's be honest, I do start using my computer more during Lent when my phone is on grayscale, not unlike drinking lots of tea if you've given up coffee. It's one of those Lenten resolution workarounds, and I always realize how much more efficient it is to use a computer for certain tasks anyway.

So, going grayscale for Lent is not one of those sacrifices that gets easier. It just starts to get annoying, and I start reevaluating the usefulness of it as a penance. Is it helping me to grow in temperance? Is it helping me to focus more on God during this Lenten season? Is it facilitating extra time for prayer? Or, is it humbling me, making me realize that even sticking to a resolution doesn't guarantee "winning" at Lent?

These questions - however painful - are just the sorts of questions we want to ask ourselves at this point in Lent. It's a great time to renew the interior penitential sentiment that we want to accompany our resolutions. We can pray for God to grant us a sense of compunction. We remind ourselves why we chose such a penance as this; we want to master our phones and not the other way around. Phones are our tools, and we are at God's service in all of our actions. Going grayscale is not an invitation to walk around miserable and come to hate Lent; it is an opportunity to refocus on what matters, to slow down our mind so we can grow in recollection and awareness of our sins and need for God.

Grayscale will continue to be lame for the next hundred weeks of Lent. No, not really, because there isn't that much time left to Lent! Whether we feel like it or not, we are in the final half of this season of penitential preparation. It is time to remind ourselves why we undertook such a Lenten resolution, to "set our faces" toward Jerusalem and what lies ahead - the passion, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. It won't make grayscale super-awesome and fun, but renewing our efforts by remembering our purpose will help us to get through these final weeks of Lent in a positive way.

Why You Should Consider Putting Your Phone on Grayscale This Lent

In the Lent of 2018, I decided to do something a bit unconventional as a Lenten resolution. I put my iPhone on grayscale. Now I'm back for another round of going gray for Lent. Let me share with you some reasons why you might consider putting your phone on grayscale this Lent.

You love your phone.

Your phone is great. It helps you stay in touch with family and friends, both near and far away. It is amazing to be able to take a cute picture of your toddler, proud of his latest mess, and send it to your mom in Iowa. It is so convenient to order a new pair of sneakers online for your kid and have them arrive within two days. It is a nice break to check social media and post messages to your friends who are celebrating birthdays that day. It is awesome to set a timer so you can remember to change your load of laundry right when the washer ends. It's so nice to be able to pull up GPS when you get lost on your way to a place you haven't been in awhile. And having access to prayer apps and Scripture on your phone is awesome too.

Your phone is useful, convenient, and yes, entertaining. It is a powerful tool that quickly becomes a part of life. For those of us used to using a smartphone, it may be hard to imagine ever going back to life without one. But the fact that you love your phone is a reason to put it on grayscale for Lent. The purpose of Lent is not to give up sins, as those you should be trying to give up all the time anyway. Lent is a time to give up something that we can recognize as good. Giving up color on your phone does not deprive you of the usefulness or convenience of the device. You can still call, text, check social media, set timers, use maps, and so on.

And yet, the entertainment factor is seriously decreased when your screen is only in shades of gray. It suddenly lacks the pull it has when there are bright colors, including those obnoxious red notifications! So, if you love your phone, but aren't able to give it up altogether for Lent, you may want to put it on grayscale. You'll love it less.

You hate your phone.

Sometimes, you may feel like a slave to your phone. You say you're not going to use it so much or let it control you. You know that ultimately you are in control, and this is just a tool. And then there's a ding and a bright red circle, and you've pulled it out again, just to make sure you aren't missing anything important. And you wonder if you really are in control of this device, or if you are its slave.

There may be times that you recognize you aren't exercising as much self-control as you'd like with your use of your phone. You can grow to dislike how tied you feel to it, knowing that you have to be available in case the school nurse calls (again) to say that one of your kids just vomited on her desk during math.

You may plan to spend your time in a certain way, and it may include important tasks that you can complete on your phone, such as scheduling appointments online. But before you know it, you've not only scheduled the appointment, you've also checked the weather, checked your email, responded to your husband's text, and wait a minute...did you schedule the appointment or not? Distractions are inherent with smartphones, inhibiting our impulse control by drawing our attention elsewhere.

If you've ever bemoaned the necessity or practicality of your smartphone, you may want to put it on grayscale for Lent. It shows a certain detachment or disdain for your phone. You may not be able to get rid of it, but you can put it in its proper place. It's just a phone, a plain, boring phone. So there, take that, phone.

You love God.

You love God, and you want to be more aware of his presence throughout the 40 days of Lent. You want to be more conscious of this season of penance, with constant reminders of preparing for that great feast of Easter. You want to join with Jesus in the desert and focus on what really matters in life. You want to be more attentive to the time that has been given you by God, so you can accomplish all that he is asking of you. You want to spend more time in purposeful prayer during this liturgical season, so that you can be open to the Holy Spirit, ready to receive the graces that come with mortification. You want to recognize that phones, and all those useful apps, belong to the world of the temporary, rather than the eternal world. For your love of God, you are willing to decrease the ease and enjoyment of your phone.

You can make it 40 days.

If any of the above is true for you, you may be feeling convicted and ready to try out grayscale. But what if it's terrible? What if you hate it? What if you find great difficulty in navigating the phone without the visual color clues? What if it doesn't increase your prayer times or decrease distractions? The good news is that Lent is only 40 days. It may be impractical to think of permanently making a switch to grayscale, but it ought to be possible to do it for the relatively short span of 40 days.

Grayscale is not a fix-all for mindless phone use, so some people find it helpful to make related resolutions, such as giving up social media or online shopping, too, or being more attentive and purposeful to designated times of prayer.

When Easter finally arrives, if you decide to keep your phone on color once again, it definitely feels celebratory! It's like a major party happening in your hands, an alleluia ringing out Jesus' resurrection. Having a grayscale phone for 40 days may not have been all you were hoping, or it may have been more than you were hoping, but either way, you will notice a difference at the end of Lent!

Yes and No of Going Gray for Lent

"Sometimes, I have felt it was like an eye looking at me. and I am always wanting to put it on and disappear, don't you know; or wondering if it's safe, and pulling it out to make sure. I tried locking it up, but I found I couldn't rest without it in my pocket. I don't know why. And I don't seem able to make up my mind."

These are Bilbo Baggins' words in Chapter 1 of The Fellowship of the Ring, as he speaks to the wizard Gandalf about his ring. A smartphone, of course, is not a magic ring, and yet, we may echo Bilbo's words to some extent here. Many smartphone users are always wanting to take out their phone and perhaps "disappear" from whatever or whoever surrounds them: disappearing from the household chores, the work responsibilities, or the strangers in the waiting room. Like a magic ring, a smartphone can be very useful.

Unnecessary checking on phones is not altogether different than Bilbo's wondering if the ring is safe, and pulling it out to make sure.

Sometimes, we recognize the pull that the device has on us, so we put it away from us, only to realize we can't rest without it in our pocket. What if we miss out on something important while it is tucked away in a drawer?

And, like Bilbo wanting to let go of the ring but not making up his mind on it, we often are indecisive  and inconsistent about how, where, when, and why we want to make use of our phones. Even with good intention and practical resolutions, we may find ourselves reaching to our pockets absent-mindedly, like Bilbo with the ring. And we may find ourselves checking our email when we set out to make a phone call!

Going grayscale for Lent is one way of addressing the ambivalence we feel about the pull of the screen in our pocket. It's a resolution that requires changing a setting and nothing more: no active monitoring or maintenance.

Lenten resolutions are penances, and penances always indicate both a "yes" and "no." Going grayscale for Lent is a way of saying no. Grayscale is a no to the brightness and attraction of the screen. It's a way of trying to address the pull of the screen in our pocket. Ultimately, like all penances should be, going grayscale is a way of saying no to ourselves.

It's a way to acknowledge bad habits that have slowly crept into our lives, and to say no to them. It tames an impulse, and reminds that we use the phone as a tool, rather than letting the phone use us, as a magic ring might, exercising control over thought and action. Like a magic ring, our phones were designed to catch our attention, to draw our usage, and to ensnare our commitment. Technology developers seek out and depend upon our desires and uses. Phones and apps were thoughtfully and intentionally designed, not simply to be useful tools, but to be indispensable tools: tools that we may feel we cannot live without. Going grayscale is a way of saying no to this illusion. It aims at detachment, a no to this object that so easily attaches us.

The Lenten resolution of going grayscale is an attempt at saying yes to what really matters. God is our ultimate reality, our beginning and end. This penance helps us to say yes to recollection, conscious choice, and practicing the presence of God. The gray screen seems dull and boring, throwing into relief the vividness of our surroundings, the gift of this life in this world, and the unbelievable beauty of the world to come. The boring screen reminds us to say yes to the people near us, who - whether strangers on an airplane or our own family members - are children of God, with souls! The gray screen is a way of saying yes to ourselves as God's beloved children, capable of using our free will to grow in virtue and cooperate with the abundance of grace given to us by God.

The willingness to go grayscale for Lent shows that we recognize the pull in our pockets and have the courage to say no to that attachment. This resolution also shows that we say yes to what really matters, to serving God in the best way we can.

Going Grayscale for Lent

What is "Going Grayscale"?

Smartphones have a display setting that limits the colors of the screen to shades of gray. Switching a screen to grayscale reduces the attraction of looking at the screen, thus reducing overall phone usage and increasing conscious choice, rather than simply responding to bright colors designed intentionally to attract attention and cause distraction. For more on the results of going grayscale, see this piece by Nellie Bowles, entitled, "Is the Answer to Phone Addiction a Worse Phone?" You may also be interested in a TED talk by tech ethicist Tristan Harrison on "Time Well Spent."

The Phone Temptation

A mere two years ago, I finally got a smartphone, with the hopes of finally being able easily to read the texts from my daughter's soccer coach. When I told my brother, he said, "You'll be a slave to your phone in about a month." I laughed. I didn't think I'd be like those people who always have their phones out. But before long, his words started to become more and more true. Like many people, I started using my phone for everything from prayer to driving directions to email to FaceBook to weather checks to recipes to, well, you get the point.

Smartphones are dead useful, no doubt. And yet, lately there has been a new round of concerns about the effects they have on us individually and on our society as a whole. Jean Twenge, writing for The Atlantic, asked "Have Smartphones Destroyed a Generation?" Another piece noted, "Your Smartphone Reduces Your Brainpower, Even if It's Just Sitting There," citing a study indicating that even a silent, powered off phone can be distracting. Many of us can't imagine going back to not having this useful tool. But on the other hand, we acknowledge it would be great if we had more control over the phone than it has over us.

Lent: 40 Days of Gray

Having recognized the particular temptations to distraction represented by their phones, Lent often finds my friends trying to find a way to limit their time. Some give up FaceBook for Lent. Others try to give up games on their phones. Some try to make a point of doing something positive or religious on their phone. The creativity of Lenten resolutions around phone usage is amazing, and even inspiring. It shows that we can recognize the way we feel like slaves to our phones. Even more so, it shows our desire for exercising our free will in a conscious and recollected way, particularly during Lent.

The traditional penitential practices of Lent are fasting, prayer, and almsgiving. Going grayscale, while not a dietary fasting, nonetheless is a sort of fast, from the flashy and inviting colors of the screens we carry around with us. Grayscale is a choice to abstain from the color we would ordinarily see. Grayscale users find their overall screen time decreases, and this means there should be more time available for intentional prayer.

Together is Better

For the last fifty years, Lenten resolutions have largely been individualistic. But before 1966, all American Catholics shared the same Lenten fasting practices, including daily fasting (one meal, two snacks not totaling a full meal) during the 40 days of Lent. One reason these vigorous practices were possible was that the faithful did them together. Lenten penances were never meant to be a contest of creativity or difficulty; instead they are an opportunity to support one another.

This blog is connected to a FaceBook group for people who are committed to going grayscale for Lent. While members are encouraged also to take up other Lenten resolutions, the Go Gray for Lent group is meant as a way to recognize a shared struggle. Those who are not on FaceBook (or have given it up for Lent!) can follow this blog and let others know about the shared penance by referring others to this post.