Using Facebook as a Force for Good this Lent, Part 2: Prayer

Intro:

The purpose of putting our smartphones on grayscale for Lent is to choose a form of Lenten penance that requires sacrifice while also allowing us to regain an element of thoughtfulness and recollection in our use of these devices, which can distract us from purposeful Christian lives. However, while this Lenten resolution is a good first step, it may not "solve" all our usage struggles.

Perhaps that is why so many people, instead of grayscale, choose other specific resolutions, such as giving up online shopping or social media. At times, we may feel that it the struggles come with impulse control in the little bits of time we have free. We look for distractions on our phone, and find them easily, but we are left feeling that online window-shopping or mindless social media scrolling was not the best use of our time. It lacked a sense of purpose and increased our sense of a lack of impulse control or meaning in our usage.

The question for today is how we might approach Facebook during Lent, using it as a force for good, rather than mindless, time-filling, quasi-entertainment. We consider this question with the traditional Lenten penances in mind: prayer, fasting, and almsgiving and offer concrete suggestions for using Facebook well this Lent, rather than simply giving it up.

Prayer:

Prayer is one of the most basic prayer practices of Lent. Of course, Lent should not be the only time of the year when we make efforts in our prayer life. And yet, it is a special time where we may take on extra or different prayer practices than usual, such as adding a daily Rosary, attending daily Mass, or reflecting on the daily Mass readings. If we are not adding anything specifically, we may try to be more intentional about prioritizing our prayer or using our times of prayer well.

While Facebook may not be the first forum we think of when it comes to prayer, there certainly is no shortage of opportunity for prayer on Facebook. If we have faithful Catholic friends, we have probably at some point, possibly even frequently, encountered prayer requests on Facebook. In fact, even those who are not regular churchgoers will occasionally request prayers or respond to friends' posts by noting that they are praying for them.

Perhaps no lie is so common among Christians as the false promise to say a prayer for someone. The falsehood may not be intentional, but, especially if we are quickly scrolling through posts, we may intend to pray for someone and then fail to do so. Or we may recognize that someone seems to be in need of prayers, even if not requesting them, and we want to pray for them later in the day but forget.

Lent is a wonderful opportunity to use Facebook as a force for good by actually praying for those who ask for it or would seem to benefit from it. And if we find ourselves getting frustrated by friends on Facebook, perhaps for their political postings or unkind comments to ourselves or others, we should make an extra effort to pray for them during Lent. Here are some ideas about how to be more intentional about prayer on Facebook.

First, if someone is requesting prayers, let's pray for them. Stop the scrolling, pause for a minute, and immediately say a prayer. There are many quick prayers that we can say mentally, such as: "Lord, for Michelle as she mourns the loss of her father-in-law and for the repose of his soul: Hail Mary..." Or, "Dear God, for my friend Nicole and her son who has a high fever right now: Our Father..." Again, "For Tom, who was just in a car accident, may his angel keep him safe: Angel of God, Tom's guardian dear..." It is great to choose a prayer in advance, such as the Memorare or, the ancient (and slightly briefer) prayer Sub Tuum Praesidium. If we are prepared, we can easily pause and say a prayer for the person in need, and, then, when we are finished with the prayer, we can comment on the friend's post: "Just said a Hail Mary for you guys. Hope your son gets better soon!" It lets the person know that we really did say a prayer for them!

Second, for those who aren't requesting prayers, but clearly have some need, whether it's because of a bad day in general or a specific challenge they are facing. There are also those who seem to be negative, angry, or purposely antagonistic toward others in their comments or posts. For such occasions, it's probably best NOT to let them know they have our prayers, as that may simply seem to be sarcastic or offensive. And yet, we can still pray for them, using the same procedure as above. Pausing and offering a prayer right then and there takes our concern or frustration and turns it toward God, sharing our worries in a way that can help us to grow closer to God during Lent and maybe also help our friends who are struggling.

Third, if we are incorporating specific prayer practices this Lent, such as a daily Rosary, it is a good idea to keep a list of intentions on a slip of paper in our pocket or on the notes section of our phone. This way we can keep track of our friends in need of prayer and remember them at another time of the day. Praying for others in need is a great way to strengthen the body of Christ, and we will find it easier to pray for friends if we have some written reminder of these intentions.

Finally, what about requesting prayers for ourselves or others? This is usually a good idea, so long as we don't overdo it; some people may weary of constant requests for prayers for ourselves or others.  Asking for prayers should not be a way of seeking attention; we should ask for prayers only if we really desire the prayers of others for a particular situation. If we believe in the power of prayer and know that we have good Catholic friends who will pray for us, it is a good idea to ask for prayers for difficult situations, such as our own loss of a loved one, the serious illness of a child, etc. We also may see benefit in asking for prayers for someone else that we know is in need, but may not believe in prayer or want to ask for prayers so publicly. In such cases, it's good to ask permission, and generally not to name the person if we know they don't want attention this way.

Prayer may not be the first thought that pops into our head when we think of Facebook, but there are many invitations to do so when we are more recollected and intentional in our use of Facebook. We know we have friends facing difficult situations, writing rude remarks, celebrating a birthday, or having a rough day. Rather than zipping through these posts, we can take the time to pause and offer specific prayers for these friends. We can commit to remembering them in our prayer later in the day as well. And we can be willing to open ourselves to others praying for us in our times of need. By embracing this opportunity for prayer, we can use Facebook as a force for good this Lent.

The Mid-Lent Struggle of Loathing Resolutions

Today is Thursday of the hundredth week of Lent. No, not really, because of course there are not that many weeks in Lent. But somehow, even when the sun finally shines again and the weather is warming up, there becomes a point where Lenten resolutions can feel like kind of a drag. We wonder how much longer we can handle living a life that's missing some of our favorite things.

In the beginning of Lent, there's some initial enthusiasm. We want to be better people. We want to grow closer to God. We want to use our Lenten penance to prepare for Easter. We are inspired by the people around us who share these goals. It may be hard, but we can persevere in those early days because of the beauty we find in the potential of the Lenten season.

Sometimes, we even start to see that habits are formed. Suddenly not eating between meals becomes the default; we don't even think about it that much. That extra prayer time becomes simply a part of our life. We feel like we are growing in virtue, exercising self-control, and living a Lent that will help us rejoice at Easter.

Then, there are other Lenten resolutions that just continue to be challenging...or possibly even annoying.

Going grayscale on my phone is meant to address the sort of mindless impulsivity that can lead me to do unproductive things when I could be using my time better. I'm sure we all have our unique downfalls when it comes to temperance issues and phone use. Mine tend in the direction of online shopping (including that in which I never actually purchase anything) and social media.

For these two issues, going grayscale does seem a direct affront. Online shopping is hard to do without color, and social media just isn't as fun. But grayscale doesn't actually prevent my doing these things, and I can sympathize with people who simply give up online shopping or social media. This approach is an even more direct affront, and possibly it brings better results. Going grayscale does not prevent me from using my phone, it just makes it really frustrating and boring.

This is the time of Lent where I start to struggle with grayscale, wanting to use the triple-click feature to switch into color for one second to check what a photo looks like before I post it. After all, that's more time-advantageous than pulling out my computer (which is still on color), and I don't want to be legalistic about being grayscale. And then, let's be honest, I do start using my computer more during Lent when my phone is on grayscale, not unlike drinking lots of tea if you've given up coffee. It's one of those Lenten resolution workarounds, and I always realize how much more efficient it is to use a computer for certain tasks anyway.

So, going grayscale for Lent is not one of those sacrifices that gets easier. It just starts to get annoying, and I start reevaluating the usefulness of it as a penance. Is it helping me to grow in temperance? Is it helping me to focus more on God during this Lenten season? Is it facilitating extra time for prayer? Or, is it humbling me, making me realize that even sticking to a resolution doesn't guarantee "winning" at Lent?

These questions - however painful - are just the sorts of questions we want to ask ourselves at this point in Lent. It's a great time to renew the interior penitential sentiment that we want to accompany our resolutions. We can pray for God to grant us a sense of compunction. We remind ourselves why we chose such a penance as this; we want to master our phones and not the other way around. Phones are our tools, and we are at God's service in all of our actions. Going grayscale is not an invitation to walk around miserable and come to hate Lent; it is an opportunity to refocus on what matters, to slow down our mind so we can grow in recollection and awareness of our sins and need for God.

Grayscale will continue to be lame for the next hundred weeks of Lent. No, not really, because there isn't that much time left to Lent! Whether we feel like it or not, we are in the final half of this season of penitential preparation. It is time to remind ourselves why we undertook such a Lenten resolution, to "set our faces" toward Jerusalem and what lies ahead - the passion, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. It won't make grayscale super-awesome and fun, but renewing our efforts by remembering our purpose will help us to get through these final weeks of Lent in a positive way.

Why You Should Consider Putting Your Phone on Grayscale This Lent

In the Lent of 2018, I decided to do something a bit unconventional as a Lenten resolution. I put my iPhone on grayscale. Now I'm back for another round of going gray for Lent. Let me share with you some reasons why you might consider putting your phone on grayscale this Lent.

You love your phone.

Your phone is great. It helps you stay in touch with family and friends, both near and far away. It is amazing to be able to take a cute picture of your toddler, proud of his latest mess, and send it to your mom in Iowa. It is so convenient to order a new pair of sneakers online for your kid and have them arrive within two days. It is a nice break to check social media and post messages to your friends who are celebrating birthdays that day. It is awesome to set a timer so you can remember to change your load of laundry right when the washer ends. It's so nice to be able to pull up GPS when you get lost on your way to a place you haven't been in awhile. And having access to prayer apps and Scripture on your phone is awesome too.

Your phone is useful, convenient, and yes, entertaining. It is a powerful tool that quickly becomes a part of life. For those of us used to using a smartphone, it may be hard to imagine ever going back to life without one. But the fact that you love your phone is a reason to put it on grayscale for Lent. The purpose of Lent is not to give up sins, as those you should be trying to give up all the time anyway. Lent is a time to give up something that we can recognize as good. Giving up color on your phone does not deprive you of the usefulness or convenience of the device. You can still call, text, check social media, set timers, use maps, and so on.

And yet, the entertainment factor is seriously decreased when your screen is only in shades of gray. It suddenly lacks the pull it has when there are bright colors, including those obnoxious red notifications! So, if you love your phone, but aren't able to give it up altogether for Lent, you may want to put it on grayscale. You'll love it less.

You hate your phone.

Sometimes, you may feel like a slave to your phone. You say you're not going to use it so much or let it control you. You know that ultimately you are in control, and this is just a tool. And then there's a ding and a bright red circle, and you've pulled it out again, just to make sure you aren't missing anything important. And you wonder if you really are in control of this device, or if you are its slave.

There may be times that you recognize you aren't exercising as much self-control as you'd like with your use of your phone. You can grow to dislike how tied you feel to it, knowing that you have to be available in case the school nurse calls (again) to say that one of your kids just vomited on her desk during math.

You may plan to spend your time in a certain way, and it may include important tasks that you can complete on your phone, such as scheduling appointments online. But before you know it, you've not only scheduled the appointment, you've also checked the weather, checked your email, responded to your husband's text, and wait a minute...did you schedule the appointment or not? Distractions are inherent with smartphones, inhibiting our impulse control by drawing our attention elsewhere.

If you've ever bemoaned the necessity or practicality of your smartphone, you may want to put it on grayscale for Lent. It shows a certain detachment or disdain for your phone. You may not be able to get rid of it, but you can put it in its proper place. It's just a phone, a plain, boring phone. So there, take that, phone.

You love God.

You love God, and you want to be more aware of his presence throughout the 40 days of Lent. You want to be more conscious of this season of penance, with constant reminders of preparing for that great feast of Easter. You want to join with Jesus in the desert and focus on what really matters in life. You want to be more attentive to the time that has been given you by God, so you can accomplish all that he is asking of you. You want to spend more time in purposeful prayer during this liturgical season, so that you can be open to the Holy Spirit, ready to receive the graces that come with mortification. You want to recognize that phones, and all those useful apps, belong to the world of the temporary, rather than the eternal world. For your love of God, you are willing to decrease the ease and enjoyment of your phone.

You can make it 40 days.

If any of the above is true for you, you may be feeling convicted and ready to try out grayscale. But what if it's terrible? What if you hate it? What if you find great difficulty in navigating the phone without the visual color clues? What if it doesn't increase your prayer times or decrease distractions? The good news is that Lent is only 40 days. It may be impractical to think of permanently making a switch to grayscale, but it ought to be possible to do it for the relatively short span of 40 days.

Grayscale is not a fix-all for mindless phone use, so some people find it helpful to make related resolutions, such as giving up social media or online shopping, too, or being more attentive and purposeful to designated times of prayer.

When Easter finally arrives, if you decide to keep your phone on color once again, it definitely feels celebratory! It's like a major party happening in your hands, an alleluia ringing out Jesus' resurrection. Having a grayscale phone for 40 days may not have been all you were hoping, or it may have been more than you were hoping, but either way, you will notice a difference at the end of Lent!

Social Penance, Social Media

The practice of having a Lenten resolution is still very much alive in our American Catholic culture. Given that many penitential practices in the U.S. have fallen by the wayside, Lenten resolutions are all the more commendable. Each year brings another time of discernment for the faithful who want to make a sacrifice to mark the preparatory and penitential season of Lent. The traditional triad of fasting, prayer, and almsgiving can be conceived of broadly enough to allow for everything from giving up soda or chocolate to keeping a gratitude journal to volunteering at the parish food pantry.

Even putting a smartphone on grayscale can fit with this traditional Lenten triad!

The diversity and multitude of Lenten penances in contemporary American culture can be misleading, however. It can give the appearance that Lent is only, or primarily a "me and Jesus" type of thing. Lent can be mistaken as an individualistic pursuit of proving one's willpower to oneself. That is far from the meaning of Lent.

Prior to the Lent of 1967, Catholics shared a common penance for the season of Lent. That penance involved daily fasting, as is now obligatory only on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. It also allowed for meat only once a day, excepting Friday, which was a day of complete abstinence throughout the year. This may seem a difficult penance, but the ordinary faithful were able to do it, in part because they did it together. Because daily fasting was required, it was a common experience with social expectations and practices in place that supported it.

Partly because it was obligatory, over the years this Lenten fast became routine for many Catholics, who fasted out of habit but perhaps were lacking in the spiritual meaning behind Lenten fasting. For this reason, the bishops in the U.S. decided it might be better to let individuals exclusively make their own Lenten resolutions that would be more meaningful.

Thus the social nature of Lenten penance was largely lost, to be replaced by the faithful discerning their own individual resolutions. This gave rise to the situation of also having to discern whether to conceal these resolutions from friends and family or share them. Hiding them might seem to prevent pridefulness, but it could actually add to it. Sharing them might bring the support of others, but a comparison might make one person or another feel their resolution was inadequate. Not telling others the resolution would prevent embarrassment if the person failed, but telling others might help keep the person more accountable. Suddenly the internal struggle seemed to convey that Lent is an individual, competitive pursuit, rather than a team sport.

If Lent had, in the past, tended too much toward an unthinking, routine, social penance, Lent now tends too much toward this overthinking, individual, competitive penance. In fact, the social nature of penance is crucial for the Catholic Church. Why?

1. Biblical reasons. When Jonah approached Nineveh, he was sent to a people. So also, throughout the Old Testament, we see the Hebrew people performing penitential acts together, as a people.

2. Traditional reasons. Throughout Christian history, the faithful have partaken of penance as a group, at times simply out of custom, and at other times due to official regulations, i.e. canon law.

3. Effectiveness. Most people have experienced the ability to stick with something difficult because they are surrounded with others doing likewise. Sharing a penance with others who are doing the same sacrifice can be both inspirational and helpful in surmounting difficulties and maintaining the Lenten resolution.

4. Meaningfulness. Social penance gives people the opportunity to be supportive of others. Although each person may have a unique experience of the penance, he or she does not feel it as a solitary pursuit. We know we are ecclesiologically linked in the mystical body of Christ.

5. Individual resolutions. There is nothing inherently wrong with individual resolutions. In fact, when people are part of a penitential culture, knowing that penance is something shared, as a team sport, they are better able also to commit to individual penances as well.

6. Loving Christ and his cross. The mystery of Christ's love for us to the point of his death on the cross inspires in us a response of love for Christ and for that cross, which we must take up daily as individuals, but which we also take up together, as the body of Christ.

Smartphones are perhaps at once the epitome of individual and social. They are personal devices, often carried around on the person, with unique settings and apps tailored to the individual. But they are inherently intended to be social in nature, connecting us to each other through phone calls, messages, and social media.

It is fitting, then, that going grayscale for Lent is something best done together. Its impact on the individual may be remarkable or not, but the shared experience of going grayscale has the potential to link the faithful to the biblical and traditional social penances, to help people to stick to the penance, finding it to be meaningful while also encouraging other individual penances and to grow in love of Christ and the cross.