Today is Thursday of the hundredth week of Lent. No, not really, because of course there are not that many weeks in Lent. But somehow, even when the sun finally shines again and the weather is warming up, there becomes a point where Lenten resolutions can feel like kind of a drag. We wonder how much longer we can handle living a life that's missing some of our favorite things.
In the beginning of Lent, there's some initial enthusiasm. We want to be better people. We want to grow closer to God. We want to use our Lenten penance to prepare for Easter. We are inspired by the people around us who share these goals. It may be hard, but we can persevere in those early days because of the beauty we find in the potential of the Lenten season.
Sometimes, we even start to see that habits are formed. Suddenly not eating between meals becomes the default; we don't even think about it that much. That extra prayer time becomes simply a part of our life. We feel like we are growing in virtue, exercising self-control, and living a Lent that will help us rejoice at Easter.
Then, there are other Lenten resolutions that just continue to be challenging...or possibly even annoying.
Going grayscale on my phone is meant to address the sort of mindless impulsivity that can lead me to do unproductive things when I could be using my time better. I'm sure we all have our unique downfalls when it comes to temperance issues and phone use. Mine tend in the direction of online shopping (including that in which I never actually purchase anything) and social media.
For these two issues, going grayscale does seem a direct affront. Online shopping is hard to do without color, and social media just isn't as fun. But grayscale doesn't actually prevent my doing these things, and I can sympathize with people who simply give up online shopping or social media. This approach is an even more direct affront, and possibly it brings better results. Going grayscale does not prevent me from using my phone, it just makes it really frustrating and boring.
This is the time of Lent where I start to struggle with grayscale, wanting to use the triple-click feature to switch into color for one second to check what a photo looks like before I post it. After all, that's more time-advantageous than pulling out my computer (which is still on color), and I don't want to be legalistic about being grayscale. And then, let's be honest, I do start using my computer more during Lent when my phone is on grayscale, not unlike drinking lots of tea if you've given up coffee. It's one of those Lenten resolution workarounds, and I always realize how much more efficient it is to use a computer for certain tasks anyway.
So, going grayscale for Lent is not one of those sacrifices that gets easier. It just starts to get annoying, and I start reevaluating the usefulness of it as a penance. Is it helping me to grow in temperance? Is it helping me to focus more on God during this Lenten season? Is it facilitating extra time for prayer? Or, is it humbling me, making me realize that even sticking to a resolution doesn't guarantee "winning" at Lent?
These questions - however painful - are just the sorts of questions we want to ask ourselves at this point in Lent. It's a great time to renew the interior penitential sentiment that we want to accompany our resolutions. We can pray for God to grant us a sense of compunction. We remind ourselves why we chose such a penance as this; we want to master our phones and not the other way around. Phones are our tools, and we are at God's service in all of our actions. Going grayscale is not an invitation to walk around miserable and come to hate Lent; it is an opportunity to refocus on what matters, to slow down our mind so we can grow in recollection and awareness of our sins and need for God.
Grayscale will continue to be lame for the next hundred weeks of Lent. No, not really, because there isn't that much time left to Lent! Whether we feel like it or not, we are in the final half of this season of penitential preparation. It is time to remind ourselves why we undertook such a Lenten resolution, to "set our faces" toward Jerusalem and what lies ahead - the passion, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. It won't make grayscale super-awesome and fun, but renewing our efforts by remembering our purpose will help us to get through these final weeks of Lent in a positive way.
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